Tuesday, July 1, 2014


I wanted from you what you did not have to give. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to. You couldn’t. I see that now. I see all I hold so dear about you, not those things you couldn’t or wouldn’t be. I see You as you are. Heartbreak heals through rose-colored glasses, a shadow of pink to tint my longing.

In the shadow of my longing I see you, honey skin, earthen eyes, Beloved embodied. I see you where you are not, beside me in bed when I wake in the morning. My eyes flutter open some days, searching the sheets for your form. Other days they stay closed up tight, searching within for the embers of love that live in me even though you do not anymore.

In the shadow of my longing I feel you, steady breath, strong hands, Beloved embodied. I feel you where you are not, walking alongside me as I move through my day. My fingers reach to twine themselves around yours some days, walking with the ghost of your form. Other days they ball into fists or open into grace, gestures of moving through the process of moving on.

In the shadow of my longing I hear you, sensual tone, deep resonance, Beloved embodied. I hear you singing to me, showering praise and adoration from your heart to mine. My ears strain to catch a whisper of your silken voice some days. Other days my song fills them so sweetly, remembering these words were always mine to begin with.

In the shadow of my longing I taste you, salty sweet, sex and dirt, Beloved embodied. I taste your skin beneath the tiny mountain range of my tongue; feel my mouth full of your passion and pleasure. My lips seek yours for kisses some days, gentle and quick, long and strong. Other days they kiss sun ripened fruit and cheeks of dear Ones, and their sweetness and mine fulfill me.

In the shadow of my longing I find me, raw vulnerability, fierce strength, Beloved embodied. I embody all that it is to be a woman, seeing, feeling, hearing and tasting what is Real. My entire being flows with the rhythms of Mother Earth. Some days I am in constant motion, dancing, writhing, strutting, soaring, staking my claim. Other days I am in stillness, contemplating, meditating, germinating, creating, staking my claim.

My claim.


In the shadow of my longing I find what I wanted from you, I had all along. Always did and always will. Beloved embodied am I.

1 comment:

  1. Balance your spiritual energy and get in harmony with your soul by practicing these Radha-Krishna meditations.

    Sri Gita Govinda
    -A book written in the 12th century, this is a description of the intimate loving affairs of Radha and Krishna

    Govinda Lilamrta
    -An 400 year old book which poetically describes the eternal daily pastimes of Radha and Krishna

    Ananda Vrindavan Campu
    -This is probably the most poetic and intimate portrayal of Sri Krsna’s life in Vrndavana that has ever been written.

    Prayers of Service to Radha and Krishna (Sankalpa Kalpadruma)

    Prema Samputa The Treasure Chest of Love

    And the following four are taken from Visvanath Cakravarti's Camatkara Candrika, a 300 year old scripture that talks about the love meeting of Radha and Krishna:

    The Meeting in the Box

    The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as a Female Doctor

    The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as a Female Singer

    The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as Abhimanyu

    And lastly, we have a very amazing scripture which describes the 24 hour daily loving affairs of Radha and Krishna in Vrindavan, called Bhavanasara Sangraha. This book is now available on Amazon for Kindle, for only $3.49


    Here is a 41 page sample of Bhavanasara Sangraha:

    The above book can also be read on your PC using Amazon Kindle for PC, download here for free:

    Disclaimer: We are not affiliated with ISKCON in any way whatsoever. ISKCON, or "The Hare Krishna Movement" as it's popularily known, is a radical and extremist distortion of the original Radha and Krishna dharma from ancient India. The author of the above book Bhavanasara Sangraha is no longer affiliated with ISKCON either, having cut all ties to ISKCON a few years ago.