Sunday, December 5, 2010
This post has a dedication. It goes out to my yogini soul sisters, a few in particular who sometimes know me better than I know myself, and who remind me to take a step back and really look inside so I can know myself just as well.
I went to the most wonderful holiday gathering today. I had intended to spend an afternoon wandering around ArtBasel, finding solitude among the masses, surrounded by lots of exceptional art. Instead, I ended up gathered with a group of my girlfriends (total opposite of solitude) surrounded by piles of stuff that we'd all cleared out of our closets, cabinets and cupboards (some of it art and some decidedly not). While I'm a Class A Planner and can be a stickler for those plans, even I know that sometimes when your plans suddenly and substantially change, you are best served to just go with it and open up to whatever it is the universe wants you to receive. This was that kind of change.
First, there was the amazingly cathartic and constructive act of clearing out physical clutter from my home. Thanks to That Feng Shui Lady (a.k.a V. Diddy Sands, a fellow yogini sister) recently there has been a buzz in our group about this sort of thing. Clearing space for energy to flow more freely and to have openings to attract into your life that which you wish for is a very intoxicating and yet intimidating proposition. It makes sense and who wouldn't want to create space for love, prosperity, serenity or any other wonderfully benevolent entity to come into your life. But actually making that space is a huge challenge for most. I moved a little over a year ago, and I take donations to Goodwill every few months, and even still, I have so much more that could be de-cluttered and made "new to you" for someone else. There are those clothes that haven't been worn in years that maybe, just maybe, I'll want to wear again. There are copious amounts of cosmetics and toiletries that I have never touched yet crowd my cabinets and closets needlessly rather than being appreciated by someone else. I'm sure my kitchen gadgets and gizmos could be streamlined and my office supplies as well. There is probably nowhere in my home that I could not eliminate unneeded excess, giving the gifts of that exercise to someone else in the form of recycled goods and giving myself the gift of more free space and a lighter energetic load.
That last part is what I am most grateful for. I freed up some closet space thanks to today's gathering, scored a few goodies in return and also spent an afternoon soaking up the beautiful weather in the company of some of my dearest friends, their laughter and their light. But what is most incredible and rewarding are the conversations and thought processes that this experience gave rise to. I spent so much of today reflecting on my internal clutter, the junk that I'm carrying around because I feel like I might need it some day (i.e. defense mechanisms) or because someone important gave it to me (i.e. learned behavior from, say, parents) or because I just don't know what to do with it (i.e. insecurities and vulnerabilities that we've yet to fully understand and thus cannot release). One of the greatest ways to take ownership of our "stuff", intangible as well as tangible, is to let it go. Acknowledge it for what it is and how it has served us, decide whether it has any value in the present, and if it does not, release it.
For me, today I saw that as hard as I have worked on myself up until now and as far as I have come, I still have a lot of road left to travel. I am finding myself face to face with opportunities to break patterns in my life and change behaviors and attitudes that do not serve me, if only I have the space to be open to them. There is fear yet to be understood and overcome, there is inner strength yet to be fortified, there is softening yet to unfold, there is love yet to give. There is such depth within us, yet, too many times we fill it with clutter that goes unnoticed because we're so used to seeing it there, day in and day out. I highly encourage all of you to try a little clearing. Start small, and if you're anything like me, once you do that, you won't want to stop.
Posted by Just Jess