Become the body of ecstasy

Wander and wander to the point of exhaustion,

Whirl until you lose all control,

Dance until you are ready to drop.

Then drop!

Fall to the earth.

Surrender to the swirl of sensations

Surging through your form.

Dissolve in awe as arising energies

Continue the dance in your inner world.

Beyond motion and commotion,

Become the body of ecstasy.

Vijnana Bhairava Tantra: The Radiance Sutras

Translation by Lorin Roche

Wander, I have. Whirl, I have. Dance, I have. And drop, now, here, finally, I have.

I’ve traveled far and deep along this seeker’s path, wandering for so long to find what felt like home. And in the wandering I have whirled and twirled into many a temporary shelter, taking solace, receiving nourishment, but not quite feeling settled and full. Oh, and the dance! I love it so. So many partners, so many styles, so many spaces. The dance spun me forward until the moment came for it to let me go.

And here I lay now, surrendered to the embrace of The Mother, fallen not from grace but into it, earthly and cosmic realms merged into one as she holds me here that I may know her through my own self.

I lay still as she moves me, currents of energy coursing through me, pulsing from the root, core and heart of my being. The dance is not over. It has only just begun! She dances in me, and I know what it is to feel ecstasy now. I know what it is to be ecstasy now.

For so long the search was for something beyond myself, something that could be given to me from the outside so that I might possibly taste Her sweetness inside. My mind understood this was a fool’s game, but my body did not yet know. My body had not yet surrendered. It still craved the erotic touch of an external lover for it had not yet been refined enough to feel the One who lives within.

Awakening now to the power and the passion as my initiation unfolds, I find myself falling deeper and deeper each day into a space beyond space and a time beyond time that is at once unknown and entirely familiar. Just when I think I am touching ground, I am shown how much further there is to journey still. This earthly and cosmic Mother is endless, infinite and so sublime. If eternity is what it takes to know her, I will be dedicated, patient and happy in the pursuit.

Sacred and precious, this time beyond time and space beyond space, I’ve felt moved to express myself freely and yet aware of the call to go inward. The energy I am cultivating must be channeled with discretion, wisdom and compassion into the appropriate vessels and pursuits. This is new for me, one so open and inclined to share. I am learning how to not just receive but contain in the most beautiful of ways.

What a sweet beginning, and there is so much more to explore beyond the motion and commotion. As many ways to dissolve in awe as there are ways that She manifests Herself. A limitless body of ecstasy to be.